Thursday, July 5, 2012

Unsatisfied Motel Guest

Last week, I checked-in a lovely lady into my motel that was celebrating her 60th birthday and I could tell she was a bit lonely. For the purposes of this post, I'll call her Ethel.

Ethel strode over to our reception the next morning and checked-out without looking me in the eye or saying a word. Judging by her demeanor, she didn't enjoy her stay and won't be back again.

I guess you can't satisfy every customer, but I've recounted the events of her stay the best I could to try and figure out what upset her so much...
After she checked in to her motel room Ethel thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages." She looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony: A very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo. He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six pack abs and she felt quite certain she could bounce a sixpence off his well oiled buns..

She figured, what the heck, nobody will ever know. I'll give him a call.

"Good evening, ma'am, how may I help you? Oh my, he sounded sooo sexy!

Afraid she would lose her nerve if she hesitated, she rushed right in, I hear you give a great massage. I'd like you to come to my motel room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all
alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hot, and I want it now.

Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night: Tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything, I'm ready!! Now how does that sound?"

I said, "That sounds absolutely fantastic, but you need to press "9" for an outside line."
I guess we won't see that lovely old lady again...

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